There are many stories in the Bible that speak of loss and show us how to handle grief.
One story in particular that stands out, explains that Abraham had been married to Sarah for many, many years (back then they lived 100+ years..crazy, right?) and they had been through so much together. When she died, Abraham mourned for her. Not hidden away in a tent quietly sobbing, no, he mourned for her publicly so everyone could see how much this loss meant to him, how heartbroken he was over his wife.
No one was left wondering how he had felt about the loss of his beloved wife as it was clear how much he had cared for her.
He grieved for her and then he picked himself back up and continued to rely and put his faith in God.
He continued to rely in God through his heartbreak.
Not many can say they would have the courage to do that. I don’t know if I would.
We have two choices when it comes to grief.
We can either let our grief help shape us or we can let it destroy us, but I can assure you because of that grief you will never be the same again.
Don’t go looking for temporary solutions for your pain, you’ll be looking for an anvil when you really need a parachute.
Abraham, didn’t have the freedom to choose what roles he played in life and neither do we. Yet, we do have the ultimate decision of choosing how to play in the role which has been given to us.
Circumstances wouldn’t make or break him.
The same hot water that hardens an egg, softens a carrot. He was always given a choice about how he would respond.
When it comes to handling our grief we can either see it as a gift that was given to us or we can let it absolutely tear us apart.
We can choose to thank God for the gift of joy they brought into our lives of those forever cherished memories or we can look at it as a right.
Because we live in this world, we’re to expect this kind of grief, we’re to expect loss, we’re to expect pain?
But what if we look to Jesus and we ask ourselves “What kind of person do we want to become because of this loss?”
Practice doesn’t make perfect, but it becomes permanent and we will continue to do what we have done in the past until we learn another way to let go of the pain by holding tight to the memories, the feeling, the joy that person brought into our lives.
When we let go of something or someone, we make room for something new. The pledge to never forget becomes the pledge to never recover or the pledge that never allows us to recover from the pain of this hurt, this wound. It is possible to give up the pain without giving up on those precious memories.
As a giver it is hard to receive, but in this time while we grieve we need to receive.
We need to receive Gods peace, love, guidance, wisdom, grace, humility and his overwhelming comfort. No matter if it comes from God himself or he sends a messenger, such as a coworker, family member, friend or even through a stranger.
Only you can decide what you can handle.
Don’t let others discomfort be your guide. No one has the right to tell you how you should grieve as long as you don’t allow it to consume you.
Grief isn’t a bucket with a hole shot in the bottom for all future joy to drain out. Your capacity for joy is far broader than you may realize and you can trust that God the Father has sustained your life for a good purpose. God has great plans for you still.
Relief is available to you in the midst of your struggling. Listen to this closely, your future is far too important, too valuable and too powerful for you to miss out on it by running, hiding, and numbing your pain. Abundant life awaits.
There is a time to grieve and there is a time to mourn. The pain never goes away, but we can choose to remember the joy that their memory brought to us or choose to dwell in the possibilities missed.
“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in Him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.” -Romans 15:13
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